I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sext me about skeletons
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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