he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
