she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
where are you?
Hypothermia
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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