I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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