idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
