I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A+ Viking dick
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
