We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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