After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
