Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
