garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
