it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
