im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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