Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
