remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
