Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
