Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
