It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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