he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
