Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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