shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
