oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
