i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
