sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
