i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
