He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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