May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
