I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
