i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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