Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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