Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
