im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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