Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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