My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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