I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
50% drunk capacity currently
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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