The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
