she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I need moral support for this bender
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
