Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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