I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
