Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
