in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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