Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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