I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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