your room smells of hookers.
And success
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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