I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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