Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
