i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
