I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
