Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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