is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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