Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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