You're so nebulous sometimes
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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